If you weren't accommodating me at all, where would you build a family life in Switzerland — and could you genuinely root there long-term?

Zurich, or close to it — and I mean the canton, not the city. Nobody should raise two children on Langstrasse. Luzern and Baden aren't far behind it on my list either. What I'd rule out is Aargau, and I was never going to stay in Dürrenäsch more than another year regardless, so leaving it isn't something I'd be doing for you.

The bank is not a family home. It isn't child-proof, and as you pointed out on Sunday, the evidence rather suggests it isn't Matthew-proof either. It's a good flat for one nocturnal person and too many screens. That's the whole of it.

Now the honest ranking, since you asked for my preference and should also have where it sits. The best place for our family outranks all of the above — and not by a little. Zurich is a preference. That's a priority. They're different things. And it would have to work for your side of the map too; you chose Schaffhausen deliberately and I'm not going to treat that as a rounding error.

Roots on my side: the Swiss Herrens are lunch once a year. No feud, no story, we just have our own lives. Georgios is the real one. He calls me his second son, which I've never known quite what to do with, given I already have a first father. But he doesn't come with a postcode — he comes with a phone and a BMW he drives much too fast, and I'd be at his table on a Sunday from anywhere in this country.

I noticed you asked that, by the way. Whether building a home with you would cut me off from the people who already feel like home. Nobody has asked me that before.

And on whether I can genuinely root somewhere — which I think is the actual question: every move I have made was about people, or about work. Not one of them was about the place. That's why I'm good at it: my anchor was never geography, it was whoever I was anchored to. So consider what that does with a wife and two children in the picture. Wherever the four of us are is exactly where I want to be. 113%.

And before you check the arithmetic — yes. Deliberate this time.